So, you your husband or boyfriend  is someone with whom you do not have children but he has children and those children are close to you but you are not sure if they are loyal too you or if they speak about you.  In your version of West Indies culture, you have to go to their homes and spit in  their kitchens,  If this makes sense to you, who can argue except you were videoed going into the homes of your last boyfriend and his children?