" Study your book"

"Study your book; study your book; study your book. But, if you get more than a C they will call you "english" and "foreign" and will use you for an outlet to vent some ancestral angers and resentment. Ironically, we are so obsessed with rejection and confused in our identity, that we took independence as abandonment and are secretly hoping and begging for the English to come back to cover something in our psychology. Then again, there may be a great deal of AWOL Nazis in the West Indies who knew what the war(ww2) would entail. It seems they left some seed since human life is less important than the ego, the communal angers and resentment. Donde Esta te ecclesia? They would not dare hurt a white English person your age or any age. But, he believes he can take it out on you and others who thought they were honoring their families in working hard. I hear you were employee of the month also when you worked full time and part time for a few companies. He should be proud of this but apparently some old ladies are afraid you will get an award again. They will also seek to use all of your essays as their own in the fear that they are not equal or that you were favored above them by the English or the white. This white or English favor is what they seek and it is the reason why they kill. But, I know I told you to study or else I would disown you and say you let your grandfather down. I wish I had known they would do this killing of people and if I had, we could have saved a few people from previous generations. But, I did help to kill them as well. I just have to fit in since I am a school girl at heart. Also, after you graduate there is a church busy body will accuse you of giving less attention to the Lord even though after you graduated, you volunteered to work at the church and took time to write several faith discussions in a rapidly changing world. Also, some fathers and mothers hate the skin their children are in after their children graduate although it's the same skin. But, I believed things had changed after Diana Ross had a big solo career and after James Earl Jones was hired to do the voice for Darth Vader. After Oprah, I thought it was ok. So, I sent you frozen dishes prepared from my kitchen so that you would have more time to study. Do you know if this happened to the big haired music artist since his father or grandfather was English? Any way, you are too young to know but they have asked me to join them in disowning you. They put foot disease in your fridge. Then, they put it in the Quaker Harvest Crunch. They will not relent.  Our culture is really based on resentment over abandonment and doubts about lineage.  You could be an orphan but if you play the trumpet too well, they may think you come from wealthy people.  The question isn't who are your parents but what  are your genes and the strata of wealth that you should dare to believe you could graduate in France or Australia?  Do you remember the story about the Australian Knitting mills (1936)?  Maybe you read it?  This issue about genes is also true in our culture if you do too well in mathematics. This fear would only be possible if people actually had sex too often with too many different people and acknowledged it in this fashion where they aren't really sure where their potential children may be. So, we keep telling younger people that we could be their mother or their father if you are a man. Also, if you do get more than a C, we pick up the abandonment mantle and start acting like you are leaving us what ever that "us" is although we are all over the world. This resentment about rejection and abandonment has to be collective or else we would not have so many dead graduates. The only people who survive are those who have a truly loving family who will not resent hard work to say you study too hard.  This is also the case when many of them did not go to school while their families bought property and started hotels while home schooling instead. But, if  you didn't study when you went to school to be a chiropractor or anything else, what would your relatives say? They would probably say you wasted their time. You got a 2:1. Excellent. The job ads in England ask for a 2:1(B+/A-) or higher and never mind. If you were white, they could legitimately be upset about you working too hard on exams that were worth almost half your final grade. But, what would they want a West Indian blackish person to risk? Do they think there is affirmative action or something?   But, at your school I understand that they double marked and the marking process was impartial. It didn't really matter if you were black or white.  Never mind. I know your father wants to starve and frustrate you to death to see if you are really his or if someone else will come to rescue you, has hired you or his helping you. It's not like you have an engineering degree or medical degree but you work very hard. Is there something he is afraid that someone will find out if you have a wife and children? Is there someone with whom he thinks you should have copulated and her mother works at IDM or something and she wants to kill you because she idolizes coitus but you never did with her?    Never mind.  He doesn't seem to think his dna should graduate and nor does he seem confident that you are his; that you should be taller but apparently, he put nickel hydride in the milk to stunt your growth. He did not want any social competition. He is not sure of who his family is and nor does he forgive them for their abandonment so, he wants to put any baby child under 2 who he thinks is yours on a park bench. This is to absolve himself of what his family did to him. He will not acknowledge the scenario he has created in your life unless you scream "murder, help." After you graduate, they cannot believe it is you any longer and want to see you totally desperate before they believe it since they believe only white or part white people can graduate on their own although MLK did. But, he was killed possibly for this reason. But, who isn't part white after 400 years of hybridization in the West Indies. There is a genetic lottery and the odds of you coming out looking a little different are quite high in a hybridized society with several generations of hybridization. You will learn that even in the year 2017, there are people who talk about loyalty to "Black or "Caribbean". The truth is everybody has to die at some time but some of those people. not all of them, do not really care about anything except that you or people like you who would not dare to use the work of others will die first.   Oh. Those church yard children and their parents, no matter how adopted they may have been by a pastor, will resent you to the grave as if you are not related either by birth or adoption because you had your own shoes from birth. Did they want me to buy you used shoes while the older ones would also criticize me for it and while they insisted I give you piano lessons with new shoes? Some of them were Nazi births just after WW2 in the West Indies. They would join the pastor's family and most would have been thankful; like you although you are not a Nazi. You are good good since you know Milo needs no milk or sugar and good for no other reason except you pray for the white Black people, Black black people, Chinese black people, Indian black people and the native black people; that one day that would sit at McDonalds and...you know the rest.  The double minded, really sensual, Nazi adoptees were always ungrateful and always seemed to want to touch your clothing at the church door.    They could almost literally turn that feeling they have about other people who had a church job and more food into a culture. But, the people who had church jobs were Christians who were so determined to convert you that they damaged your donkey cart or Lada to show you their authority or....my mistake, that was the other denomination; sorry!    Some of them killed off the entire family of the Baptist pastor and took everything as their own, including his used Rolex purchased for 10 pounds, or they tried to.   They always seem to say they have learning difficulty.  They seem to know each other when they meet any where in the world and they have a sign like a fluttering of the eye lids ( a secret "Hail H---er"); $3000.  They want to say they don't know if it's you although people change phone numbers and addresses quite often these days. You must have met a mulatto Nazi chick with a West Indian accent who always feels very familiar and who feels blond although she isn't and who always tells you that she could be your mother.  Never agree with her.  She also lives to kill anyone to whom she could be a mother to achieve a social status called "White Landed Immigrant".   She just wants power over you.  For all the times I have heard that in my life, I should have a lot of family right now and also a Bollywood contract or something like so.  They are usually orphans.  But, never mind. You have family."   By Warren Augustine Lyon.